HAWKEYE - "Walk
to work, or carry your lunch"
"You
learn love by loving - by paying attention and doing what one
thereby discovers has to be done." - Aldous Huxley
Good day to all
of Hawkeyes fine readers, Fans, and whatever on this fine day
in Hooterville.
Hawkeye is pleased
to hear that we are coming down on underage drinking. This is
certainly a step in the right direction folks, but didn't we
already have a law in place pertaining to underage drinking?
This law seems to have been placed over there with the Litter
Laws. Out of sight, out of mind.
No matter how
hard the Honorable Kovana tries to preach anti litter, it seems
as though there are that many more Homos out to defy his Excellency
by going ahead with what they do best: Litter. Then we are still
preaching Stray Dog eradication? What happened to that plan fans?
Hawkeye overheard
one of the Tourists off the last Cruise ship asking why we have
so many stray animals. Perhaps we could have suggested that they
take a few hundred along as passengers, and dump them off at
the next Port Of Call. We have been dabbling in stray animal
eradication for the past twenty year's folks, and the problem
still exists.
The problem is
not with those who are tasked to perform the disgusting task
of stray animal eradication; the problem lies with those meddlesome
bleeding hearts who think the methods are cruel, yet offer no
suggestions as to how to do it better. Let those people alone
to do their jobs, or volunteer to get out there in the hot noonday
sun and assist. Otherwise just dummy up and let the system prevail.
Enough of that
stuff. On to more pleasant subjects, like our getting a Lottery.
This is what we need here in Wonderland Fans. This would attract
off island dollars. Homosapiens would be falling over backwards
to get a shot at winning the Hooterville Lottery.
One way to avoid
opposition to a Lottery is to have it managed by the Church.
This way, it would not be considered gambling. While we are at
it, we need a small gambling Casino. Import a professional to
operate the Casino, and appoint a board of directors who will
be sworn to uphold the bylaws of the Casino right after they
create them. We need to allow all Hotels to operate small Casinos
within the confines of their premises.
This will enhance
tourism, and at the same time give our Fledgling economy a much
needed shot in the arm! This is instant revenue for our Government
also fans. They would not need to get everyone pissed off over
clearing containers in order to up the revenues: start a lottery,
and legalize gambling.
Get the "Road
Warrior" off the streets, and appoint him as chief parking
lot attendant at the local Lottery Hall. We could even double
up with a game or two of good old fashioned "BINGO!"
It would be up
to the individual families to keep their spending in check. Do
not allow "Grandma" to go gambling until she has paid
for all her medications. Along with this scenario comes the increased
patronage of not only our Beautiful Hotels, but our restaurants
and fast food outlets.
Speaking of Hotels,
has anyone stopped to ask the Hoteliers what they think of bringing
in a Cruise Ship as a Floating Hotel? Just for the Arts Festival?
Hawkeye has a better Idea; Legalize Gambling and just keep the
Floating hotel until the rest of the Rainmaker has been renovated.
We will need
to create a petting Zoo for the kiddies to occupy their time
while their parents are busy playing Bingo, Poker, and purchasing
Lottery Tickets. This is bound to attract Eauntrapnurer's from
all four corners of the Globe.
Food for thought
fans, nobody is forcing us to take the high road.
Hawkeye is still
puzzled over the disappearance of the Local Church of Scientology.
Whatever happened, they are definitely getting in their last
punches as their little yellow container is sitting there for
all to see at the intersection next to the scrap yard.
"Something
can be done about it." (About What?) Hawkeye gets all jittery
inside when he passes by that their yeller container. It makes
him think that he is being possessed by the Holy Ghost. Anyway,
could someone write to Hawks e-mail and tell him where these
kind hearted persons went? They were after all, volunteers, and
may have well been utilized in the Stray Animal Program. Hum.
Remember fans,
Hawkeye is all in good fun, and not to be taken too seriously.
(Except for the serious parts.)
Hawkeye has really
been out there in the Twilight zone here of late. He has this
God Awful ringing in his ears. He said to Sweet Leanor the other
day, "Sweet Leanor, Ah got this ringin in my Ears."
She answered;
"I can't hear you Hawkie, cuz I gots dis dammed wingin in
my ears!"
Do write to Hawkeye
at <hawkeye_as@yahoo.com>.
Just keep it
clean as Hawkeye keeps Leanor's picture in his heart!
Until next week,
don't forget to either walk to work, or carry your lunch!
Love,
Hawk & Leanor.
© Osini Faleatasi Inc.
dba Samoa News reserves all rights.
|