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Hawkeye: Just Wingin along

“The secret of happiness? Enjoy the small pleasures.”

That is the way things are shaping up in Hooterville on this fine Sun-Shiny Morning.

We have put another Flag Day Celebration behind us, leaving us all another year older, and somewhat deeper in debt for some. The question is: “Was It Worth it?” You bet your sweet booties it was. One of the ceremonies that stick out in Hawkeye's mind is that of the New Fale Tele there in Utulei right next to where the Yacht Club used to be. This fine piece of Polynesian Architecture will no doubt follow its way through out the History of Wonderland, and surrounding Island Nations. This will be a place for many “Jovial Gatherings” well into its future. The main reason not to be taken out of the Lime-light is that of the Flag Day meaning itself. This is a symbol of freedom from several walks of life, and should be heralded as such throughout the future.

Anyway, pressing on to newer items on our agenda, Hawkeye will get back to the ongoing feud between the Government and Marisco Ltd. of Honolulu.

This is a whole bunch of Tupe, {Money} that is said to be owed to the Shipyard that ripped off our Government for the antique Tug Boat, and the two derelict Barges that are now sitting in the Harbor waiting to sink.

Something isn’t quite right with this scenario fans. In the first place, why were the Tug & Barges procured in the first place? What was the reasoning behind a blatant waste of Tupe? One person, we will refer to him as a “Homo,” {Sapien} asked who authorized the purchase of these pieces of marine junk?

Oh well: Hawkeye don’t know enuff about the situation to comment further, so he will shut up unless he is asked.

This is just another episode in the lives and loves of “Dobie Gillis!” {He was a character in a TV Series many moons ago.} There is a safe bet though fans, life will go on until it is canceled, just like the Dobie Gillis show!

Hawkeye's old dead redneck daddy once said: if ya ain’t read up on the subject, keep yer mouth shet! {Hawkeye's Daddy was illiterate.} He used to pretend like he was reading the Newspaper, {The Delta Weekly Star,} and the kids used to say: “Hey Grand-paw, why are you readin the paper “up-side down? That used to really get the old man Pissed. He was very easily riled. Hawkeye was reading the news the other day during the Tuesday Primary’s where President Romney took the states of Delaware, Connecticut, and Long- Island, and East L.A.

Why should he even go through the motions? He has no one left running against him. It looks as though the GOP needs to get busy training the candidate! Over.

So.. back in the Amedikan News from Amedikan, there is another report of “Mad Cow Disease?” Hawkeye saw this on the ABC News with what’s her name on Tuesday Evening last. Hawkeye was able to see a close up of the cow in question, and the cow seemed to be smiling? So if the Cow is smiling, how can it be Mad? There is only one suspect in the total Cow Population, and they just had to single out the best looking Cow of the entire Herd. One reason for the Cow to be rather Pissed Off is the fact that they were dragging her along by a dirty old rope which had been formed in to a Bridle of sorts. It was clear that the Cow did not like the Bridle, or the ugly Homie who was dragging her. From now forward, Hawkeye will suggest that we treat suspected Cows with more dignity! Thus the end to the Mad Cow Disease once and for all time! Hawkeye never heard of such a thing when he was on Herschel Cairo’s Farm in Delta Pennsylvania.

The Cows used to get Mad when Hawkeye tried to hang the “Surge” Milking Machines from a strap across their backs. When there happened to be a “Mad Cow,” the animal used to get even by slapping Hawkeye in the face with her dirty tail! They never tried to poison every Homo-sapien in York County Pennsylvania! Let’s face it fans: Herschel’s Cows had respect! One thing that was worse for Hawkeye other than pissed off cows when he was growing up in the Susquehanna River Hills of Pennsylvania, was the abrupt ending to the life of his pet “Blue Eyed Chicken!” Hawkeye has never quite been able to forgive his old Daddy for killing his blue eyed chicken. What was worse is when Hawkeye was told at the dinner table what he was about to eat! Out of respect, there was a prayer for the dead chicken.. Humm..

Hawkeye and Sweet Leanor took a cruise in the Hawkmobile on Monday to observe the “Endangered Species.” {The Tourists.} They all seemed to be enjoying themselves away from the “Rhapsody of the Seas.”

Hawkeye will advise all to keep a close alien watch, for dey is a commin!

Until next week,

Love from Hawk & Leanor