Dear Editor,    

In American Samoa, we speak often of the importance of family. But honoring families must mean more than praising their love and sacrifice. It must also mean listening to those who provide care every day and helping them carry the weight of that responsibility.

The invitation to family caregiver community listening sessions deserves our attention. It asks us to hear from people caring at home for elderly relatives, loved ones with disabilities, and family members who need daily assistance. These are voices that should help shape decisions about care and support in our community.

Behind the words “family caregiver” is a person whose needs can easily go unseen. Who listens when that person is exhausted? Who steps in when they need rest? Who asks what caring for a loved one has meant for their employment, education, finances, or health?

We should not mistake quiet devotion for an absence of need. Nor should we assume that because a family continues to provide care, it can continue indefinitely without help. Asking for support is not a failure of love or family responsibility.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I also want to appeal directly to my fellow members. We covenant to bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those who mourn, and comfort those who stand in need of comfort. Supporting caregivers is a meaningful opportunity to live those commitments.

Our belief in strengthening families should lead us to stand beside the people doing the daily work of caring for them. Prayer and encouragement matter. So do listening, practical assistance, and a willingness to support community efforts that address caregivers’ needs.

I encourage fellow Church members and people of every faith to share this invitation, encourage caregivers to speak, and participate when meeting details are announced. Let us listen without judgment and without assuming we already understand another family’s circumstances.

I also urge our public leaders to receive these stories with care and explain clearly what support is available, what obstacles remain, and what steps can be taken to address them. Listening should be the beginning of a response, not the end of one.

This is not a call to replace the family’s role. It is a call to help families sustain that role with dignity, safety, and support. “E lē sua se lolo i se popo e tasi.” It takes more than one coconut to produce a great flow of oil.

Our Samoan proverb, “E lē sua se lolo i se popo e tasi” reminds us of the strength of shared effort. Caregivers should not have to carry their responsibilities alone.

When families, churches, communities, and public leaders each do their part, we help sustain both those receiving care and those providing it.

If we truly believe that families matter, then the people caring for those families must matter too. Their voices deserve to be heard, their needs deserve serious attention, and their sacrifices should not be taken for granted.

Sincerely,
Alisi Iongi-Filiaga
(former caregiver for my mother in law, my sister in law & my parents)