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“ASIAN INVASION…”

Dear Editor,

 I woke up this morning in a foul mood, thinking of what that Senator said during a Fono session about the Asians taking over our island. Boy is he right, too.

I reached over and turned off the Chinese fan, and called out to the wife that we should get on the road so as not to be late for work. She was still putting on the last strokes of the Chinese finger nail polish that  matched her Chinese lipstick, it really was a nice color that went well with her Indonesian fabric puletasi dress with the Samoan print.

I called out to her that I would wait in the car, but realized the Seiki flat screen was still on, so I turned it off. As I walked out to the Toyota pickup I noticed one of the Namsook tires was a little low on air. I dug my Samsung smartphone out of my pocket to plug it in to charge. “Damn Asians”, I thought, “What is to be done?”

As I waited and fumed, I reached for a Benson light, and the Chinese 'Bic' lighter and fired up a smoke. Well thank God we didn't have a cigarette shortage, they had just off-loaded the Hanjin container from the Malaysian flagged cargo ship with the next order of smokes... whew!   

 As we headed to town, passing the cannery I thought, “Well at least the backbone of our economy is still thriving”. I couldn't help but notice the Korean flag on the cannery flag pole 'waving' in the morning breeze as it sat high above the American Samoa flag. 

Some things were still right in the world, I mused. As we came into Fagatogo, passing the new Fono building project, I could see the Komatsu excavators tearing up all that Chinese rebar and cement on our little construction 'boo boo', knowing that there was plenty more of that material on the way. We pulled into the gas station in Utulei, the attendant put the nozzle from the Chinese gas pump into the truck and began pumping the Indonesian refined gas into my tank. 

"How are we gonna deal with this Asian invasion?" I asked the wife. But she wasn't listening, being immersed in her Chinese printed Bible.

  "Are you hungry?" I asked the wife. She replied, “Well, yes, a bite to eat would be nice before work". Stopping at the fast food joint in Nuuuli, I asked her what she'd like. "Oh, maybe just a little chicken and RICE, with plenty of SOY SAUCE,” she answered. Just then an old friend passed and honked his hello from the new Nissan SUV he'd just bought. Nice car I thought. 

But I just couldn't stop thinking about this Asian Invasion … Something must be done. 

And so my day went on, and my mood lightened knowing that the next paid Holiday was around the corner. Thank golly too that all the stores would be open, no matter what, Sundays too. Damn Asians work a 16-hour day, 7 days a week no matter what the occasion, to keep the extremely well stocked stores open for us. Have they no shame at all?? 

Well I thought, surely our wise leaders in the Fono would come up with a solution to this nagging problem... and slowly my mood began to lighten in the knowledge that our best and brightest were at the helm, and would come up with the solution that would be in the very best interest of 'our people'.                                                                                             

Manuia le Aso,

John Engle