Dear Editor,  

The recent article in Samoa News, “Father arrested after allegedly beating his son to discipline him,” article dated 4/9/2025,  forces us to confront an uncomfortable truth: violence in the name of discipline is still harming our children. As parents, family (aiga), and community leaders, we must recognize when discipline stops teaching and starts causing lasting damage.

In many Samoan households, physical discipline is a tradition handed down from generation to generation. Discipline is often seen as a way to show love and teach respect. But when that discipline crosses the line — when it leaves marks, happens in anger, and instills fear — it becomes abuse. No child should ever feel fear in the one place they should feel most safe: their home.

Research shows that Pacific Island children — especially in tight-knit communities like ours — experience higher rates of physical punishment than many other populations.

A 2022 UNICEF report notes that over 70% of children in some Pacific regions experience regular physical punishment, with many describing it as severe or humiliating. The emotional cost of this goes far beyond the physical. Children raised in fear often carry that pain into adulthood — affecting their mental health, their sense of self-worth, and even their ability to parent the next generation.

Seeing the world through the lens of a Samoan child, and my 9 years of working with the American Samoa Alliance, victims, and families, I've seen the long-term hurt this kind of discipline can cause. What makes this even more challenging is that many children suffer silently. Our culture teaches respect, loyalty, and honor — but it can also make it hard for young people to speak out when hurt by someone they love. This silence keeps the cycle going.

But there are things we can do — things that honor both our cultural values and our responsibility to protect our children:

• Become aware of the signs: Children who suddenly become quiet, withdrawn, or have injuries they cannot explain may be sending silent signals for help.
• Be a safe space by listening without judgment. Remind the child that they are not alone or to blame. Use kind words.
• Connect with resources: There are organizations like ours that can help guide families through conflict without violence.

Our family's belief systems are built on alofa, tautua, and fa'aaloalo. When done appropriately, discipline can reflect these values, and children will feel loved, not fear.

When we encourage our children with words of love, not fear, it can shape and develop great human beings. It is important that our community breaks the silence, but not our children. 

Let's be sure to build homes that protect, family's that nurture, to ensure our children do not suffer because of a "tradition".

Ma le faaaloalo tele, 

Jennifer F Tofaeono, MHSA,  MBA

Executive Director

American Samoa Alliance against Domestic & Sexual Violence